My thoughts on...spring for the soul

I was going to title this post something like "I'm engaged!" or "I'm moving to Switzerland!" in the spirit of April Fool's Day, but I didn't want to give anyone a heart attack. 

Anyway, this weekend was beautiful.

After what has felt like the longest, dreariest winter known to mankind, the sun came through for Easter weekend. And boy, did people notice.

The scary people at Walmart wished me a happy Easter.

My facebook feed was just a tad more positive.

And I smiled to myself as I drove with the windows down.

But this year's a little different.

This spring signifies a lot more for me than just any average year.

It feels similar to the spring my senior year of high school.

It went like this:

After waiting and waiting, and thinking those four years would never end, it was the spring before high school graduation. And suddenly, everything went so fast. It was one the quickest, most memorable spring and summer seasons of my life. 

It feels good to complete something. And when the end of that something coincides with spring, it all becomes sort of hazy and romantic, and there are baby bunnies and flowers everywhere.

And no one, NO ONE wants to do work. 

So as a senior in college, the next month (ONE MONTH!!) is going to require a lot of focus that is often stolen by the sunshine.

But that's okay. I hope it's memorable. I hope it includes picnics and late nights with my friends and procrastination and victory. 

Because all of that, leading up to the end, is really the good part.

Once you're done, you start to miss things.

And oh, I will miss things.

The wind blowing through my room on a warm night.

The way the quad comes to life on warm April days.

Staying up late to talk to my roommates.

That rush of a brand new school year.

The exhausted delirium that is finals week.

No longer being in my college years.

All of that will be tucked away somewhere safe while we go on and make new memories. I will have an abundance of stories to tell from these past four years. A lot of craziness that I think back on and wonder if it even happened.

So my goals for April include all-nighters and early morning walks, drinks with my friends, endless job hunting, way too many papers and constant reminiscing.

Here we go, home stretch.

Happy April!

My thoughts on...a time for rest

Last week kicked my butt.

Seriously.

Even this weekend was kind of crazy.

I got barely enough sleep to function, and took pictures like this:

(Super photogenic. All the time.)

So anywho, this week I have some things in store to make up for my absence last week,

and ONE WEEK UNTIL IRELAND!!

I am so beyond excited. I have been waiting for so long (as is proven in this post.)

Now there is lots of packing to be done and family to visit, and this last week of school before our trip will likely drag and drag and drag.

But I've been so busy that it kind of snuck up on me, and I'm grateful for that.

Oh yeah, and the week I'm gone I have some guest bloggers lined up, so that will be a good time!

The blog theme of this week that I have chosen is Spring Break prep. I don't know what that means yet but I'm sure I will find out.

Also, yesterday I attended the first baby shower for a friend. Weird? Yes. All I could think about was the time I killed a cactus and how much work an actual human being must be.

Terrifying.

Happy Monday!

My thoughts on...Dr. Oz's cleanse

In the spirit of spring cleaning, (and going off of last week's detox post,) I have decided to try a cleanse.

For me, I'm not looking to lose weight. I just kind of want to "spring clean" my system, and undo a little of the damage from the past two weeks or so.

(i.e. croissants, cupcakes, cake, beer, etc.)

But if a cleanse also helps at getting the ol' body ready for bikini season/wedding season/peeling off the sweater season, then so be it!

So the cleanse I have decided is the Dr. Oz 48-hour cleanse. Pros? It does not involve starvation, and the recipes seem like they're probably pretty good and easy to make. 

Cons? Well, nothing yet. Except that I have never done a cleanse before, and am not sure what it will be like.

Some of my preliminary thoughts on this:

-Why in the whole, wide world of produce are artichoke hearts in a smoothie? Because Dr. Oz said so. He could probably tell me to toss in some sardines and I'd do it. Begrudgingly.

-I don't know if I can handle the lack of baked goods/chocolate. Seriously, I am a sugar addict. I eat pretty well most of the time, but that sweet tooth gets me every time! However, I do like a good challenge, so bring it on.

-Epsom salts baths, eh? I tried one tonight. Personally, I'm just excited that someone reminded me there are alternatives to showers, and they are awesome. 

-The weekend would not be a good time to start a cleanse. Just throwing that one out there. The weekend is the time for pancakes and wine and all that. 

So I start this up officially today, and I will report back on my thoughts periodically over the next 48 hours. Get excited!!

Has anyone tried this cleanse, or something similar? What are your thoughts?

Happy March! 

My thoughts on...detoxing

Ello poppets!

*Sorry. I don't say that ever...*

Yesterday I decided this week I would do a detox. And I guess what automatically comes to mind are the endless juice fasts that graced the blog world after New Year's. 

Not that kind of detox. But sort of?

See, I believe in all that mind-body connection mumbo jumbo. And I wanted to have a very relaxed week. Even if the events of the week are not relaxed, I wanted my attitude to at least seem calm and happy. Because, well, our weeks are numbered.

Morbid but true.

And I don't want to waste my time being anxious and worried.

I think food plays a major role in that as well, so I am just trying to simplify what I eat, what I have and what I worry about.

I mean, an instant pick-me-up would be some springtime weather, but that's just gonna have to wait. Especially since we are bracing for another winter storm. Not breaking out the peep-toe wedges anytime soon.

So yesterday I kicked off the week with a trip to the grocery store and did some cooking. I spend every Sunday doing at least 2 hours of cooking to prepare for the week. It's pretty therapeutic, actually.

Yesterday I cooked up some chickpea salad wraps and sassy water, both of which I highly recommend.

Then I went for a run around campus in the cold, which was pretty, but...cold. Or refreshing, depending on how you look at it.

Then I felt like a plant would be the perfect addition to any detox week, (logical? who knows) and I found this little guy.

He looked WAY worse yesterday when I picked him up. The poor thing was fifty percent off and so thirsty. I couldn't just leave him there.

Here's to hoping he's around for awhile, because sometimes, as I have admitted to before, things don't work out so well for my plants.

Also, I will take this time to give a shout-out to my wonderful newspaper staff. Together we took home ten awards at the ICPA newspaper awards in Chicago, and made a lot of weird (and awesome) memories.

Here is a crappy photo of the view from my room!

The detox plan continues this week with the following:

-At least 7 hours of sleep each night (One night achieved!)

-Lots of green tea and water

-Some additional workouts from the videos at blogilates

-Getting the paper out in a timely manner

-Spring cleaning in preparation for March! Which is Friday, if you can even believe that.

Have a good week, everyone!

My thoughts on...quarter life crises

First of all, there is some kind of horrifying bird RIGHT outside my window.

The kind that you usually hear off in the distance in the woods somewhere.

But this one is right up on my window going "ooooooh....WOOoooh" over and over again, and it's a little weird.

For today's "My thoughts Monday," I have had a lot on my mind.

Yes, that is "relax" backwards. What you can't see is that I am wearing very colorful fleece monkey pants in this photo.

And by a lot, I mean pretty much everything else besides what I should be thinking about.

AKA, I am terribly, hopelessly distracted.
BOOM, second semester hits and I am immediately hit with senior-itis. Hard.

Not like that's anything new. I remember daydreaming my way through first grade (and pretty much all the other grades...)

I would balance pencils on my fingers and draw flowers everywhere just to get through the day.

But these days, I am distracted by so.much.more.

I realize that I may be a few years shy of a true "quarter life crisis," but I totally believe you can have one of those at 22.

Not that it's a bad crisis.

I am very, very lucky to have found incredible people to surround myself with and an exceptionally supportive family. I even have a relationship that grounds me and fulfills me like nothing I've ever experienced before, and sometimes I am horrified to think of what I might have turned into had I not stumbled upon love.

It wouldn't be pretty.
I have a feeling it would involve a lot of cynical speeches, wine coolers and working on the weekends.

However, I still have these days where I feel pelted with thoughts of "Who am I? Where do I go from here? Why do I feel vaguely like I am supposed to do something meaningful with my life, but then kill a few hours watching New Girl? Why is everyone and their neighbor suddenly married and/or having children? I am still trying to keep a freaking plant alive!"

I find it quite challenging and overwhelming to live in the moment right now because there are so many exciting things to look forward to.

But at the same time, I believe I will look back at this stage of my life and miss so much of it.

I will miss my apartment and my roommates, pulling all-nighters with my friends to "study," working with the newspaper staff...

Sometimes it's a challenge to just slow down and appreciate everything that's going on right now.
But this is life.
The here and now.

And can I tell you about right now?

Right now I am drinking my kiwi lime tea out of my new mug, waiting for my boyfriend to come visit me, and watching Jenna Marbles. This, like those Disney commercials say, is me at 22.
For a limited time only.

And you know what? It's a good moment. And I am going to share it with you in the form of the video I just watched. Because it made me laugh, and you should be laughing too.

You're welcome.

<3

My Thoughts On...Life Plans

A photo just before sunrise over Peoria, August 2012

I never actually realized how much college would change me.

Does anyone?

But I don't know if it's just college, necessarily. I think it's those years between 18 and 22, with or without college, that brings about a kind of transformation.

As a freshman people told me over and over again how I would change, freshmen are immature, I have so much to learn, etc. And frankly, it was a little annoying to be reminded of that constantly. That even though that was who I was right then, I would still have to "find myself" later on. What was wrong with who I was?

I don't believe we ever really lose ourselves. As I asked my roommate this week, "Isn't it weird sometimes to think that you are stuck with yourself forever? You don't get a single break your whole life, and you can't run away or divorce yourself. You're there until you die. That's some serious commitment."

(I kind of think she thought I was really weird or depressed.)

Yes, I am a completely different person than I was four years ago. But it was still me, just an earlier version of myself. Everything, including our cars, our electronics and ourselves have to adapt, evolve.

But truly, the difference between myself circa 2008 and myself now is vast. And I am absolutely loving getting older. With each passing year I feel a little more sure of myself, a little more content with where I'm at.

I turn 22 in less than a month, and to be honest, my life has taken a complete 180 degree flip from what I thought it would be as an impending college graduate.

Even two years ago, I had a completely different outlook on things. I thought that by graduation I would have had an internship in New York with a job lined up. I pitied anyone in a serious relationship when they graduated because I believed they were limiting themselves immensely. And I was very, very unsure of what my emotions ever were because I had a lot of them, but I buried them somewhere so deep that only recently have I been able to dig them up and let them go. 

Now I am about to be 22. I have no job lined up. I had local internships. The thought of visiting New York, let alone living there, kind of makes me cringe. I have a newfound appreciation for all things quiet and simple. I love the countryside. And I am moving in with my boyfriend at the end of the year when most of my friends are looking for apartments or looking for jobs all over the country.

I am much less put-together than I imagined I would be. I am in a long-term relationship that I never saw coming. I am friends with people I never thought I could be friends with. And I am happier than I ever could have imagined.

Life has a way of throwing you through loop after loop, but somehow, it always seems to know what's best.

My thoughts on...The Cat Incident

So I live in an apartment building.

An apartment building that does not allow animals.

So imagine my surprise when, a couple nights ago, I walk inside and notice a cute little kitty wandering around the entryway.

I immediately let out some kind of weird maternal "look how adorable and helpless you are!" kind of squeal thing and bent down to pet the cat.

And it was so sweet that it came right up to me and meowed and my heart broke into about a million pieces.

(What IS IT about baby animals that turns people to mush? Honestly. If I see a puppy being walked outside I am typically in danger of crashing the car due to the distraction, and I make a lot of weird noised followed by "I WANT TO STEAL YOU!" I say this out loud, by the way. Alone in my car.)

So anyway, the cat.

I asked some people in the building if it was theirs, and while it wasn't, they suggested an apartment number to try.
So I went to that apartment, cute little kitty in tow, and the door was wide open.

All the lights off, a laptop on the island, cat things inside, and the door was wide open?!

I don't even know.

I just about called the police but it looked like no forced entry or foul play were at hand.
(Too many cop shows.)

I let the cat run around my apartment for a few minutes, called the number on its collar and then put it back in its home, all the while wondering how exactly that happens when four people live in an apartment. What if the poor little thing got outside and froze?!

Dear people of that apartment...I was about to kidnap your cat. Just FYI.

Well, I went away for the weekend to St. Louis (stay tuned for photos of Cupcake Wars award winning  treats!) When I came back, my roommate tells me that her friend saw the cat outside.
She described it and I decided that yes, that was the same little kitty.

I immediately pelted her with questions:
"Where outside?"
"Outside, outside?"
"Like in the cold?!"
"What did she do about it?"
"I should have freaking kidnapped it when I had the chance!"

Here is what I gathered:
Her friend saw it outside in the cold when she was driving away.
...And left it there. Did not stop for the kitty.

Then told my roommate about it three hours later, when it was too late to look for it.

I just need to rant about this, but how exactly does that happen TWICE. Twice!! Even if the cat is a sneaky little escape artist, it had to get out through TWO doors to get outside, doors that had to be opened by someone.

So at least two people may have seen it running outside and just let it go?

Oh my gosh.
Totally threw off my day.

Now I want to adopt all the cats and be that lady.

How was your weekend?

-H

My Thoughts On...2013

Alrighty. It is Tuesday, and I am now posting my "My Thoughts Monday" for the week.

I suck at this and it's only week two.

But I'm gonna keep on keepin' on anyway!

The theme for the week (because I haven't really addressed it yet) is...the new year!

Woo!!

The blogosphere has been blowing up all over the place with resolutions and goals and reflections and whatnot. 

But I have a hard time with resolutions.

NOT a long term planner, here.

Pretty much I can plan for the next ten minutes, and that's it. If I'm lucky.

Therefore, resolutions and I just do not mix.

That being said...I have some mini-goals set to go, and this year is going to be SO much fun to document!

Things to look forward to this year?

-Turning 22

-Attempting to publish a children's book

-Spring Break in Ireland

-GRADUATION!

-Moving in with my boyfriend

-Hopefully finding a post-grad job. In like...the next eight weeks.

And lots more I'm sure I'm forgetting!

As for resolutions...there are the usual, of course.

Eat better.

Sleep more.

Figure out how to sit still long enough to let a fresh mani dry.

But really, I have a tradition each year.

At the start of the year, I attack my room, throw out a bunch of crap, light a lemony candle and buy a plant. Check!

This year I purchased a succulent. Very hard to kill, I hope?

Aaand off to yoga! (Another New Year's Resolution.)

Here is a happy new year song to enjoy:

<3

My Thoughts on...26 Acts of Kindness

For the New Year I wanted to start a weekly feature, so one thing I am trying out is a "My Thoughts on..." Monday.

So that I can talk about random things and make it seem legit.

(Yes, I am aware it is Wednesday, not Monday. More on that in a moment.)

So, here we go.

The Newtown, CT tragedy really shook me (and pretty much everyone) for awhile. It still is. That kind of grief doesn't really subside. Time passes, people accept it as a reality, but you don't forget.

When that kind of senseless, unbearable tragedy happens, it's easy to approach it with anger and finger-pointing. 

But one of my favorite responses to the Newtown tragedy was Ann Curry's 26 Acts of Kindness campaign.

If you haven't heard of it, it started on Twitter as a way for people to tweet about random acts of kindness they perform in honor of the lives lost in the Newtown shooting.

After that happened, people wanted to get involved in some way, by doing anything, just to feel like somehow they had helped alleviate the pain. What better way to do that than by channeling the sadness and confusion into something heartfelt and positive?

I really wanted to get involved somehow. Few things in this world feel more rewarding to me than doing something meaningful for someone else, even if they have nothing to offer me.
That sort of kindness has oodles of benefits for everyone involved.

That brings me to the weekend I had. I spent it in the hospital. Saturday through Monday. My New Year's plans were cancelled, I thought I was having a stroke, I underwent a crap ton of tests...but luckily for me, I left with a clean bill of health.

While I was there, I was lucky enough to have my dad and stepmom drive 5 hours, my boyfriend travel 4 hours, and lots of other family and friends spend large chunks of time with me in a hospital room. It was truly a blessing and I felt very loved.

But the part that really got to me was my hospital roommate, a woman I will call Jill. Despite all the loud people and the antics happening the entire time I was there, Jill was an excellent sport. She told me she felt like she was part of the family while they were there, and that while she was happy I was able to head home healthy, she was sad to see us all leave.

I thought about her the night I went home. I would be driving back to school with Tom the next day, and it didn't feel right to just leave without doing something for her. Jill had to stay in the hospital for about another week to have surgery.

So even though it delayed our ETA by a lot, Tom and I stopped off at Target to get Jill some fuzzy socks, lotion and a card, and my grandma chipped in some holiday towels and an ornament. Then we took it to the hospital to the room I'd just left the night before.

It wasn't a grand, sweeping gesture, but it felt so good to surprise Jill with a visit before her surgery and give her something to let her know what a joy it had been to meet her. She was grateful and gracious for everything, and so positive and upbeat the entire time even though she wasn't feeling well.

Seeing the way my family and friends spoke to her and cheered her up made me so proud to be a part of that whole group, and she really helped me see that.

So here's to Jill for the camaraderie during a stressful time, and for the fresh perspective. My thoughts are with her now as she recovers from her surgery and gets back to her happy self.

And to all of you...a very happy new year!