I kill things.

A note on succulents:

"You may feel the pull of their symmetry and simplicity like many others before you, and admire their toughness and resilience in conditions of poor soil, infrequent watering and neglect. 

Read more: http://www.drought-smart-plants.com/#ixzz2JIKrcXyn

You read that correctly.

Toughness, resilience, infrequent watering and neglect.

Do you know what I did to my poor, tough succulent?

...Succulents are supposed to be upright.

Yes, I kiled one of the foolproof plants. But I have also killed a cactus, so this is nothing new.

How to kill your succulent in three easy steps:

1.) Don't water it for three weeks.
2.) Then drown it for a few days in a row.
3.) Accidentally leave your bedroom window open in freezing cold conditions for 24 hours.

I want so badly to have a green thumb, you have no idea.

I picture myself being this Martha Stewart type one day who cans jam and marmalade (still don't know if there's a difference between the two...) and gardens by sunrise and then delivers tomatoes and homemade pies to all the neighbors.

But if I want this...

Source: bhg.com via Heather on Pinterest

I am going to have to stop doing this...

Actually, you can read about some of my goals @ Mish Lovin' Life here! It's from a group feature almost a month ago, but it still rings true. Obviously. Judging by how very dead my plants are.

In other news, Lloydy Pants is still alive after almost a year and a half, so that's something to celebrate.

Seriously though, anyone out there who has a recovering black thumb  that can help me keep these things alive, I would appreciate it!

I am literally the worst. Ever.

I keep trying to rescue these plants from the clearance area of Walmart, and they just keep dying.

Hmm...lightbulb moment. Maybe those are the neglected, ready-to-die plants anyway. Who knows.

Happy Sunday!