My thoughts on...The Cat Incident

So I live in an apartment building.

An apartment building that does not allow animals.

So imagine my surprise when, a couple nights ago, I walk inside and notice a cute little kitty wandering around the entryway.

I immediately let out some kind of weird maternal "look how adorable and helpless you are!" kind of squeal thing and bent down to pet the cat.

And it was so sweet that it came right up to me and meowed and my heart broke into about a million pieces.

(What IS IT about baby animals that turns people to mush? Honestly. If I see a puppy being walked outside I am typically in danger of crashing the car due to the distraction, and I make a lot of weird noised followed by "I WANT TO STEAL YOU!" I say this out loud, by the way. Alone in my car.)

So anyway, the cat.

I asked some people in the building if it was theirs, and while it wasn't, they suggested an apartment number to try.
So I went to that apartment, cute little kitty in tow, and the door was wide open.

All the lights off, a laptop on the island, cat things inside, and the door was wide open?!

I don't even know.

I just about called the police but it looked like no forced entry or foul play were at hand.
(Too many cop shows.)

I let the cat run around my apartment for a few minutes, called the number on its collar and then put it back in its home, all the while wondering how exactly that happens when four people live in an apartment. What if the poor little thing got outside and froze?!

Dear people of that apartment...I was about to kidnap your cat. Just FYI.

Well, I went away for the weekend to St. Louis (stay tuned for photos of Cupcake Wars award winning  treats!) When I came back, my roommate tells me that her friend saw the cat outside.
She described it and I decided that yes, that was the same little kitty.

I immediately pelted her with questions:
"Where outside?"
"Outside, outside?"
"Like in the cold?!"
"What did she do about it?"
"I should have freaking kidnapped it when I had the chance!"

Here is what I gathered:
Her friend saw it outside in the cold when she was driving away.
...And left it there. Did not stop for the kitty.

Then told my roommate about it three hours later, when it was too late to look for it.

I just need to rant about this, but how exactly does that happen TWICE. Twice!! Even if the cat is a sneaky little escape artist, it had to get out through TWO doors to get outside, doors that had to be opened by someone.

So at least two people may have seen it running outside and just let it go?

Oh my gosh.
Totally threw off my day.

Now I want to adopt all the cats and be that lady.

How was your weekend?

-H

Things to do while sick

I would to dedicate this post to the wonderful bout of winter sickness I have endured over the past week and a half. 

Merry Christmas to you, illness bitch.

I am still not finished with it (another trip to the doctor come Saturday, wish me luck) and I am praying to the health gods that this goes away in time for New Year's.

Because one, I do not want to live on crackers and Ginger Ale anymore. 

And two, I am going to be crafting a mask for the New Year's Masquerade Bash I'm attending and I WILL wear it.

I am going to wear that mask even if I'm holed up in a bed watching the ball drop in New York and crying to myself.

(Did I mention I'm the fortune teller for this shindig? Oh yeah. Your fate is in my hands. If I make it there, that is.)

So since I have spent many days on the couch watching bad tv and staring out windows, I have come up with a list of the best ways to enjoy a sick day. Or week. Or month. Whatever your evil little winter virus desires, because it seems like everyone's a bit under the weather right now.

Live on three food items.

Ginger Ale.

Crackers.

Applesauce.

Amen.

Watch every Katherine Heigl movie ever made. Ever.

Cringe a lot. 

Make fun of the fakeness. 

Then cry at the end of 27 Dresses.

Terrify yourself by reading Web MD.

Enter in symptoms like "nausea" or "headache." Become horrified when a red thing pops up that says "Go immediately to the emergency room!" Then close the window and pretend it didn't say that.

Create a sick den for yourself.

Bring all of your blankets to the couch, surround yourself with pillows and burrow in. Trap all the germs and cracker crumbs in there with you.

Go on a sick day shopping spree!

Put on sweatpants and rain boots. It is not raining but you really don't care.

Go to the nearest Walgreens, CVS or similar store.

Buy sugary drinks, crackers, tums, trashy magazines and a trashy novel.

Watch trashy reality shows...

...to match the magazine and novel.

Especially anything on TLC. 

Or talk shows where at least one baby daddy issue comes up.

Have an afternoon cleaning spree.

The medication kicks in and you feel invincible. 

You wash the dishes like a pro, get the vacuum ready to go , take one look at all the carpeting there actually is, and immediately head back to your nest. 

Whine a lot

It usually results in people brining you soup.

Use bendy straws

I don't know why, but it's a sick day classic.

Watch cat videos. So many cat videos.

Done and done.

Have a happy Thursday!!