Bridal Shows: A War Story

Back in January and February, this town was inundated with bridal shows. Of course, I was interested. I remembered attending one when was I was 13 and my aunt was getting married. Some people thought I was the bride. That made me particularly upset because I couldn't even drive, and in my mind at the time, no one should get married without a driver's license. Obviously that was the real issue. Not the fact that I was 13. But I was still looking forward to the day when I actually was the bride and could take home all those cool pamphlets. Also, cake. I heard rumors of cake samples, so that was truly my (and Tom's) ultimate goal!

Anyway, fast forward 10 years and there Tom and I stood, preparing to enter our first wedding expo (bridal show? bridal expo? What do you even call these things?)

We attended two. Both of them were pretty much the same, have blended together in my mind, and went something like this:

Enter bridal show. Sign in. Receive coveted bag of pamphlets I have been looking forward to for the past ten years.

Walk in, instantly overwhelmed. I did not realize there were like 63 florists, 85 DJ's and an endless supply of tanning places in Central Illinois. Also, why is techno and flashing lights happening at noon on a Saturday?

Oh, and all of these people want to talk to us? We don't want to talk. Let's just smile, wave, pretend we don't hear them, and zero in on that table with the cake and gourmet cookie samples.

And then eat two of every sample.

We soon realize that Tom is outnumbered. Very outnumbered. It seems for every bride, there is an army entourage of ladies.

And there we were, Tom and I, just trying to find more cake and vacation giveaways to enter. And the people were everywhere.

Brides. Everywhere. I have no idea why, but it made me panicky. At one point Tom and I hid in a corner eating a pasta sample. We just looked around, mildly terrified.

So after taking some boxed cake samples for the road,

We ran away. And did not return. The world of wedding planning is a strange, tulle-covered, sparkly chevron place of mystery and peonies. Since most of my friends are far away, Tom and I hang in there together.

(In case it wasn't obvious by this post, I am practically counting down the months until we go sample wedding cakes! )

Did you attend bridal expos? What was your experience like?

Masters of DIY + weekend

You may not know this, but Tom and I are true masters of DIY-ing. Particularly when it comes to movie nights. Every few months, we come up with a theme and create a fort over our bed, and decorate it with the finest Dollar Tree items we can find.

Seriously, Pinterest has nothing on our craftsmanship. 

A couple months ago we created this piece of gloriousness for our under-the-sea movie night. Note the octopi bows:

For this weekend's movie night, we decided to do a "Summer Night" theme.

Behold!

Light-up frog thing, $1. Lily pad and pond, crafted by Tom.

 This lamppost night light, $1

Assorted pillows tossed on ground, Merlin the owl and winter owl blanket

Stars and moon, cut out by Tom

He said it looked like the stars on either end were wearing pants.

Movie of the night was "Girl Most Likely" with Kristen Wiig. It was...odd. Not totally unenjoyable, just strange. But we always enjoy theme movie night! (Side note...when I was googling "Kristen Wiig" to make sure I was spelling her name correctly, "Kristen Wiig feet" was one of the top search terms that came up. What?!)

Other weekend things:

Bags tournament at a bar. We rarely go out, but Tom's friend was back from the Marines. There were lots of amaretto stone sours going on.

Love my morning Matcha!

Me at a coffee shop. See the giant bear behind me?

Ah well, that's all for now. Happy Tuesday!

What is "happy"?

Riley makes me happy.

And just like that, we're nearing mid-June. 

This past weekend I got to go home, visit my family, and meet up with friends at a friend's bridal shower. I love where I live now, but going home to the Chicago suburbs always feels like getting back to my roots. 

Then I got back to work, and things were crazy. It's all calmed down now, but it was just one of those days that took a long walk, working out, and meditation to relax in the evening.

I was thinking about "happy" in the midst of all that. There is so much out there telling us to be happy. "Do what makes you happy, go where you feel happiest, life is too short to be anything but happy," etc.

And I thought about this excerpt I read on A Cup of Jo the other day: 

"I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that—I don't mind people being happy—but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness. It's a really odd thing that we're now seeing people saying "write down three things that made you happy today before you go to sleep" and "cheer up" and "happiness is our birthright" and so on. We're kind of teaching our kids that happiness is the default position. It's rubbish. Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are. Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that also happen to us, but they don't teach us much. Everyone says we grow through pain and then as soon as they experience pain they say, "Quick! Move on! Cheer up!" I'd like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word "happiness" and to replace it with the word "wholeness." Ask yourself, "Is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is."

—Hugh MacKay, author of The Good Life

There is so much truth in that. It's confusing to be told to strive to be happy, because to me, that's more a surface mood than anything else. It comes and goes depending on the day. We know it means something deeper, like contentment at a soul level, but I think we more often associate "happy" with smiling, playing, and being free from pain or stress.

Being told to "do what makes you happy" confuses people into doing what they think is easy. Because the real feeling they're looking for is appreciation, or wholeness, as Hugh MacKay pointed out. But what is truly meaningful to them might take work, sweat, tears and sacrifices, and certainly isn't going to make them feel happy all of the time. 

Something doesn't have to make you eternally happy to be completely worth your time and dedication. I try to replace "happy" with "grateful." If I am having an awful day, I am not going to be happy about it. But I still feel grateful for it, because I think everything I have right now belongs in my life. Some things I am even astounded I get to claim as my own. 

The only part I don't agree with out of that passage is the line about writing down things that make you happy. I think doing that is great. Why not? It's always just reminded me of the things that make me smile, and the things I am grateful for.

What do you think? Is all this "happy" pushing us to strive for a mood rather than a purpose?

Happy Wednesday!

Moone Boy

This week, like so many others before it, has been the kind of week that requires excessive amounts of caffeine and motivational quotes. But I have found something to look forward to every night. (Other than seeing Thomas and taking our evening walks, of course! We have a lot of dog friends we see along the way. Shout out to Dory the dachshund in her pink harness.)

Moone Boy!

So I first heard about this show on NPR about a week ago. They were interviewing Chris O'Dowd, whom you may recognize from Bridesmaids. This show is his semi-autobiographical creation that he co-writes, and he plays an imaginary friend to 12-year-old Martin Moone. It follows Martin, his friends, his family, and his mishaps. It's set in Ireland, and it's only available on Hulu.com and PBS in the U.S. at the moment. There are two seasons available right now, but the third is done and will probably be airing this fall.

To be honest, I wasn't completely sold after the first episode, even though it was funny. But now we've watched season 1 and all of season 2 except for the finale, and I am hooked enough that I will probably re-watch every episode before season 3 airs. 

If you don't watch for anything else, watch for season 1, episode 5: Godfellas. It could just be my Catholic roots, but making the altar boys look like the gang everyone wanted to be a part of was awesome. 

But really, you should watch all of it. It's hilarious. And while you're at it, watch all of Ricky Gervais' "An Idiot Abroad," too. Trust me. It is the funniest, most realistic travel show out there, and Karl is fantastic.

Happy Thursday!

Pumpkins in the garden

I have always longed to be a gardener. Unfortunately, my incredible distrust of things that crawl and live in the dirt and my general paleness haven't helped much.

Luckily for me, Tom's dad is an avid gardener, and he has been teaching me the ropes!

This will be year two of pumpkin growing. Last year, we grew small organic pumpkins made primarily for eating.

It was a dream come true! It was the coolest thing to watch the progress, and pumpkins are fairly low maintenance. I love that Tom's family is perfectly fine with pumpkins taking over their yard because they were so fun to grow!

Last year, we planted seeds in four locations and two of them grew. This year, we planted seeds in five locations, and all five of those locations have started growing!

Here's the part I'm really excited for. This year, we wanted big ol' carving pumpkins. The first seed packet we bought was white and orange pumpkins, but it seemed the seeds weren't coming up. So we also bought a bag of Cinderella's Carriage pumpkins. Well, now both sets of seeds have come up, so in the fall we will have a nice variety!

White and orange pumpkins

Via

Cinderella's Carriage

Via (Also an interesting article about heirloom pumpkins)

So my thumb may not be "green" just yet, but it's getting there. I can't wait to see all three kinds of pumpkins sprawled out over the yard this year! We are also looking to see which we like best, because ideally we want to use pumpkins at our wedding next year. 

Have you grown pumpkins? Would you? Any tips on gardening when you can't handle the creepy crawling things that live in the dirt?