The thinking moments

They exist for all of us.

For some it's while drinking coffee, for others it's in the shower, and for others still it's when they've been stuck at home, sick, for the third day in a row.

For me, my moment of deep thought has been all of the above.

(And all three of those things happened today.)

I have been thinking a lot about perfection, and the obsessions that have plagued me my entire life. And have plagued a lot of others for most of their lives, too. Especially women.

Why is that?

If everything is as I want them to be, and I haven't a care in the world, then I worry about the past or future.

Have you ever tried to carry all of the worry from your entire future life and pack it onto your shoulders in one instant?

It's probably not healthy.

"Who will I lose? Will I be ill? Will I be unemployed? What if my children get hurt? What if they hate me? Will the supervolcano erupt on Friday?"

Thankfully for us all, life happens one moment at a time.

Just like we cannot possibly eat a lifetime's worth of food right now, we can't shoulder the burden of our entire future this moment.

We have to digest each minute before we can take on another. 

Taking on too much will just make us terribly uncomfortable.

So at the end of this year, sprinkled with its ups, downs, valleys and hills, I want to say that I am grateful for our imperfect world.

Filled with its dessert and veggie and mystery meat kind of moments.

That is what makes life colorful, worthwhile. It's what makes it living, rather than just existing. This place would be awfully boring without the unexpected variety.

After all, vanilla ice cream may be perfect in its own right, but it's certainly not going to satisfy anyone in the long run.

Thoughts

This weekend I got to escape to a cute little B & B in a nearby town for some much-needed relaxation with Tom. 

I will likely have those pictures up tomorrow (and a bunch of other posts throughout the week I have waiting in the wings,) but I haven't gotten to post about the school shooting in Connecticut, and it feels wrong to post about anything else until I do so.

I won't say much about it, because there's already been overload about it, which makes sense. My thoughts are similar to what has widely already been said.

But I do want to say that when these things happen, (and they have happened plenty of times this year,) the effects of them always shock me. In a good way.

Because the outpouring of support, the sheer amount of people wanting to help in any way they can, even if just through prayers, is astonishing. And it overcomes any one act of tragedy.

It doesn't take the grief away. It doesn't make up for the loss of life. But it shows that there is a lot more good in this world than bad, and while it might spark major political debates, there is always the underlying desire to reach out to those who are hurting the most and show that somebody cares.

It's just unfortunate that it sometimes takes heart-wrenching tragedies to bring that out.

It feels wrong, after something like that, to go on living. To enjoy the holidays. To look forward to tomorrow.

But we have to, because that's what life is about. And we need to live for all those who no longer can, fully embracing the miracle that is every day with the ones we love.

2012 has been a deadly, painful year around the world. Too many tragedies, too many lives lost.

But we're here, on the cusp of a brand-new year. And hopefully, no matter what loss comes along, we experience moments of true and complete bliss as well.

What is happening...?

Things seem odd lately.

But in a good way?

It just seems like everything is falling into place.

Not just for me, but for everyone.

(At least everyone I stalk via Facebook and Blogger.)

Like things are just happening.

Perhaps they've been stagnant for awhile, but now, there seems to be a domino effect of things happening as they should.

People getting the jobs they've been waiting for, two friends you know are perfect for each other finally together, friends who were finally able to get pregnant (I may or may not be talking about Kate Middleton here. I use the term "friends" rather loosely,) school winding down, and for me, finding another project to dive into and spending the end of the year with those who matter most in my life.

So if this is a trend, I eagerly await pleasant surprises that may be around the corner, despite the world's end apparently impending.

It's been a good semester.