Thomas is creating a Mandalorian Merc costume. Or...outfit? Armor? (I did not know what a Mandalorian Merc was...but I think it means we will be attending Comic Con this year. For whatever reason, I think I am looking forward to that.)
^^^^This is the actual picture intended for this post. Where I look angry and am in a sheep robe in my basement home.
I've seen these posts floating around the blog world for the past couple weeks, and I really liked the idea. So for day two of Blog Every Day in January, here is my own list of things I am unsure of publishing...but will do anyway in the name of blog trends!
1.) I have a hard time with the idea of being a "bride." For whatever reason, I feel like I am not pretty enough, girly enough or fond enough of the spotlight to be a proper bride. I can handle being a fiancé, and even being a wife sounds totally natural to me. But a bride? Where people watch me try on dresses, ask me about flowers and cakes and plan parties for me? It's weird. I'm still adjusting to it.
2.) This period of my life is such a challenge for me. All sorts of incredible things happened to me in 2013, but I am still left in this limbo when it comes to my income and my job. I feel ungrounded and sort of useless without it, and it's hard to get up every day and apply to more and more jobs and be a perpetual intern. It will be fine soon enough, and I've made some huge steps toward my ultimate goals, but right now I am struggling.
3.) I am just barely beginning to learn where I stand when it comes to morals and integrity. I am ashamed of who I have been in the past and how I acted toward myself and others. It's hard to accept who I was as a part of making me who I am, but I'm trying.
4.) If it were practical in any way, I would be totally fine with being a mom this year. And I am going to be 23 in February. It's not practical, and I won't be, but I've always wanted to be a young mom. I don't like telling people that because I'm afraid of the looks I'll get. It would probably surprise a lot of people.
5.) I am not looking forward to marketing my book. It comes out in March, so I don't have long to get going on that. Writing is such a personal thing, and asking people to read what I have written is so unnatural to me. You'd think after working for a newspaper for four years, as well as three magazines and a radio station, I'd be okay sharing my words. It even surprises me when people say they read my blog. Of course I'm excited, but it's definitely going to be strange to say "Download my book here!" Not only that, but this is a ROMANTIC FICTION novel! As someone who studied journalism, I feel like I'm supposed to be writing something more earth-shattering. But there's something about simple love stories that I enjoy telling.
6.) I don't talk about my relationship much. My friends will tell me all about their love lives, but I rarely say a word about me and Tom. Part of me wants to keep it all to myself, and another part of me knows there are certain friends who just don't care. But that doesn't bother me much because I really do like keeping all the best things to myself.
7.) I need very little human contact. My favorite people are the ones who I can talk to three times a year and it seems like no time has passed at all. I am a SERIOUS introvert, and I find myself pulling certain people closer, and letting others drift away. And I don't mind at all.
8.) I often feel really guilty for everything I have. I go back and forth between wanting to embrace and enjoy the blessings in my life, and resenting the fact that I can walk around Nordstrom on a Saturday with a $5 latte in hand because some people don't have access to warmth in the winter. I'm not sure yet how to properly give back (though I try, but I never feel like it's enough), and finding that middle ground is really important to me.
Well, those are my confessions for today!
Here is the other Blog Every Day in January post. Happy Thursday! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment