The case for having enough

I believe I have grown up in the "have it all" era.

Where information on anything is one internet search away, produce from all corners of the earth are available in one grocery aisle, and faraway human connection with so many mediums is immediate.

But even more than that, I have grown up with immense potential, because after so many years of fighting for equality, women are finally able to shatter society's ceilings and become whomever they want. There is still not perfect equality; the majority of the most powerful people in the United States are still men. But we have come so far, and I never grew up thinking I couldn't be something simply because I'm a female. 

I have also grown up with the constant encouragement to never settle because I have don't have to, and to "have it all" because I can.

I remember when this movie ^^^^^ was coming out on DVD, and Tom and I were at the video store. He said, "That movie reminds me of you." And he was right. I am the quintessential busybody, the 20-something female trying to do everything all at once.

We, or at least I, have been taught to seek a high-powered career, a supportive husband who will split housework and childcare with me, an hour-long workout every day, a consistently balanced mind, a pristine home, a bulletproof financial plan and a whole slew of hobbies, all while making time to volunteer weekly, spend plenty of time with my children, read before bedtime and purchase only locally-grown, organic foods to feed my family.

All of that is good, of course, individually. Wonderful, even. Can you imagine if all of that worked out flawlessly? What kind of life that would be? It would be perfection, and perfection doesn't exist. Somewhere along the line, something has to give. 

My problem is not in striving for all of that. It's important to push yourself and reach for what you really want. My problem is that with all this "leaning in" and striving and pushing, is there room left for appreciation? Is there opportunity to put your heart and soul into something if you're trying to keep too much above water? Are we even really seeking what we want, or just what we have been taught we should want?

Society itself and so many people have worked for decades to ensure that women don't have to settle. To forge a path to their "have-it-all" kingdom.

But because we can have all that, does that mean we have to pursue it, regardless of what we want?

I want to have a fulfilling career. I want to have children and a loving, cozy household and a husband I have fun with and good health. I want to have fulfilling friendships, exciting adventures and a solid retirement plan. But I am not in a rush to have it all, all at the same time. 

That's where I think the have-it-all-dom starts to droop. We get a lot of mixed signals. A lot of "do this, do that. Do it right now."

Sometimes, you do need to lean back. To get your head out of the static of everything being thrown at you, and realize there are only 24 hours in a day. And to take a look, just for a moment, at everything you have to be grateful for.

I don't want to have it all; I want to prioritize. I want to say "This is important to me and my life, right now."And to focus on that, as opposed to being everything for everybody all the time.

I am hoping that I can build my own existence, one not confined by the plans society has for me. Just one that's right for me as a person and those I love. That will be enough for me.

As for what my "enough" will look like, only time will tell. But right now it's living in my boyfriend's family's basement, working part-time at an old internship, and appreciating this time in my life, which I know will be fleeting.

Do you feel overwhelmed by this "have it all" mentality, as well? What does "enough" look like to you?