Thoughts On: Chapel Hill

The Chapel Hill shooting of Deah Shaddy Barakat, his wife Yusor Mohammad and her sister Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha really shook me, particularly after reading about what the victims were like as people. The murders have not been officially called "hate crimes," but it's very hard not to jump to that conclusion.

It wasn't just that they seemed like wonderful people, which they did. I think what really got to me is the victims easily could have been some of my own friends. Many of my friends are devout in their religions, and those religions span a very wide spectrum. I love that about them. They are a kind, vibrant, intelligent group, and I love learning from them. Even though I don't follow a religion myself, I appreciate the role it has played in many of my friends' lives and characters. So the idea of people dying simply because of who they are and what they believe in is such a loss for our world. It's nothing new, of course. Human beings have killed each other over religion for centuries. But technology has made the entire world more accessible than ever before, and somehow it seems to have only added to the ignorance. People seek out what supports their beliefs, filter out the rest, and live comfortably in their own narrow minds.

I get frustrated hearing about these horrific acts of violence because I feel so helpless. I want to do something, but the whole thing is so much bigger than one person.

I've come to terms with my current solution, which is just to start with myself. We are all so afraid of each other, and afraid of anyone and anything different from ourselves. It has made so many of us bigoted and ignorant and closed off to other people. If anything is to change, it has to start with the individual.

So I work on myself, to understand others and where they are coming from. And when Tom and I have children, we will raise them to do the same. To be tolerant and curious of the world around them, and to respect and appreciate the differences in the human race. I may not be able to change this fearful climate, but if Tom and I add a few more people to the world population, we can at least try to make them the kind of people this world needs. We can expose them to the beauty of humanity and its varied and ancient roots. We can show them that the world expands boundlessly outside their own experiences and beliefs, and that is a good thing. We can learn and discuss and read and travel and celebrate that no two corners of this planet are identical. It's just a tiny change made in us, a minuscule portion of the world population. Hardly a drop in the bucket. But I think it counts, and it will count, for something.