Things to do while sick

I would to dedicate this post to the wonderful bout of winter sickness I have endured over the past week and a half. 

Merry Christmas to you, illness bitch.

I am still not finished with it (another trip to the doctor come Saturday, wish me luck) and I am praying to the health gods that this goes away in time for New Year's.

Because one, I do not want to live on crackers and Ginger Ale anymore. 

And two, I am going to be crafting a mask for the New Year's Masquerade Bash I'm attending and I WILL wear it.

I am going to wear that mask even if I'm holed up in a bed watching the ball drop in New York and crying to myself.

(Did I mention I'm the fortune teller for this shindig? Oh yeah. Your fate is in my hands. If I make it there, that is.)

So since I have spent many days on the couch watching bad tv and staring out windows, I have come up with a list of the best ways to enjoy a sick day. Or week. Or month. Whatever your evil little winter virus desires, because it seems like everyone's a bit under the weather right now.

Live on three food items.

Ginger Ale.

Crackers.

Applesauce.

Amen.

Watch every Katherine Heigl movie ever made. Ever.

Cringe a lot. 

Make fun of the fakeness. 

Then cry at the end of 27 Dresses.

Terrify yourself by reading Web MD.

Enter in symptoms like "nausea" or "headache." Become horrified when a red thing pops up that says "Go immediately to the emergency room!" Then close the window and pretend it didn't say that.

Create a sick den for yourself.

Bring all of your blankets to the couch, surround yourself with pillows and burrow in. Trap all the germs and cracker crumbs in there with you.

Go on a sick day shopping spree!

Put on sweatpants and rain boots. It is not raining but you really don't care.

Go to the nearest Walgreens, CVS or similar store.

Buy sugary drinks, crackers, tums, trashy magazines and a trashy novel.

Watch trashy reality shows...

...to match the magazine and novel.

Especially anything on TLC. 

Or talk shows where at least one baby daddy issue comes up.

Have an afternoon cleaning spree.

The medication kicks in and you feel invincible. 

You wash the dishes like a pro, get the vacuum ready to go , take one look at all the carpeting there actually is, and immediately head back to your nest. 

Whine a lot

It usually results in people brining you soup.

Use bendy straws

I don't know why, but it's a sick day classic.

Watch cat videos. So many cat videos.

Done and done.

Have a happy Thursday!!